Do you ever feel lost? Lost as in: frustrated and stuck, and you don’t know what is next for you in your life? If you are an entrepreneur in any way, this can be especially poignant: what is the next step, the next project, the next chapter, the next move – we can agonize over the next “right thing.” Perhaps you are a passionate human being living a full, bold life: what is the next creative expression, the next beautiful relationship, the next…
When I feel lost, I know it’s due to two things: 1) my energy is blocked and 2) I’ve disconnected from myself. I’ve betrayed myself: I’m trying to be someone I’m not, to do something according to someone else; I’m not honoring who and what I am; I’m not allowing the full expression of my energy, my being, my full and unique self.
Often we lose ourselves because we are trying to do “it” someone else’s way, whatever that “it” might be. In following someone else’s formula, we stray from the center of our being. This is the best compass we have: the deep connection with the most honest part of ourselves. It is our ultimate truth, and the good and bad news is that it wants to get expressed. What is tricky about this place is that it holds some of the most vulnerable material of our lives – some of the most special and exquisite parts of ourselves that are calling to be shared. And yet when we have the courage to express this material in a way that is honoring and integrous, we are set free.
I get lost. Sometimes I am conscious enough to watch it happen, and sometimes I am left to grapple in my misery. When I am conscious enough to catch the nose-dive, I can heal, coach, and coax myself back from the brink, or lovingly push myself over the edge to see that I really can fly. I employ and recommend a few simple strategies to get un-lost, to get clear and energized and in action again, and I share them with you here. These strategies are relatively no-brainer, because they have to be. Most of the time it’s the machinations of the mind that have us spiral in purgatory, and so I don’t generally recommend that we use the mind to try and pluck us out.
1. Move Your Body
Move your body to move the blocked energy through and out of your system. Dance and sing, swim, bike, run, whatever brings you pleasure. There is emotion attached to this energy, and as you move it, you will feel the emotion – tears may come; I’ve cried on the running trail, and it feels great. I move my energy by running in the Santa Cruz Mountains. One of the main reasons I moved to Northern California was for the Redwoods, and I let them heal me. Entering the realm of these giants and breathing the crisp air helps me to feel held in something bigger and far wiser than I. I tap into genius matrix of nature, and relax and get inspired.
2. Know You Are Loved
I am loved, and so are you. Remember who loves you and feel their love. Call on them, literally, if you can. When I’m spinning out, I call my best friends who always have my back, and with whom I can be vulnerable. These friends let me express what’s up without trying to fix or change anything in the moment. They know the greater mission I’m committed to, and that I’m not committed to wallowing. And they also know that to be seen in this tender place is a basic human need, and so healing. This gentle witnessing can move stuck energy because it is a safe opportunity to express it and let it go. Call on the people who can see you in all of your humanity and let them help you get back to you.
3. Sink In
Sink in, come back home to yourself. When we feel lost it’s because we have lost connection to ourselves. When I feel lost, I know I have to take some extra time to slow down and get back in touch with me, my passion, my creative expression – and then express it! When I get lost I know I need to create a particularly sweet space for my evening meditation, and pull out all the stops: my favorite incense, my note book, all my candles. Use the meditations here to go home to yourself.
And most of all, be gentle with yourself – it might take some time, trial, and error, but we all eventually find our way. And once we have a glimpse of the clear road, the work we did to get there feels so worth it! As Michael Beckwith says, “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called!”
From my heart to yours.